I’m a child compared to my friends.
I am 31 years old, never owned a car and never owned a home, and don’t have children. I live in the cheapest apartment I’ve ever lived in my life, with my wife and cat. Logistically-speaking, my life is exactly the same as it was when I was 21 years old. My wife is in the same boat – her job is the same type she’s had since her 20s, and her friends are the same ones since she first moved to NYC (with a few exceptions).
My friends, on the other hand, have families, own cars and homes, and are experiencing the headaches and joys of all those things. I get that “owning stuff” does not make you a better person, or that having more kids around doesn’t provide deeper wisdom – people who are jerks still are jerks, just with more kids. That said, I think there’s a fundamental change when you alter your environment.
But frankly, it’s very hard to alter one’s environment in New York City. Rents are high, and get higher every year. Even if your job allowed you to get more money, what exactly does that get you? A slightly bigger apartment maybe, and the ability to eat out a bit more.
Or visit your other friends who seem to be progressing rather quickly into their lives while you’re still relating to college students with their first jobs.
I think it’s worth thinking about what constitutes “growth.” Is it money? Kids? Career? Home ownership? Experiences? Failures?
Living in a dense urban environment like NYC encourages certain types of progress and stunts others. It discourages owning a house or car or kids, because of money and space. But it encourages a much wide variety of learning opportunities and some odd and interesting things.
In some ways, we’re not as old as people in the midwest with houses and cars and kids. But in other ways, we’re older because we’ve had a decade with more intense exposure to arts, and experiences, and food, and frankly, very weird people.
Sometimes progress can be changing your environment, and sometimes progress can be staying in one place that always changes around you.
That’s a good, valid point. Julie reminds me that wealth is relative: are you *richer* because you have more stuff, or because you’re closest to the best museums, universities, and cultural monuments? We spent 2 weeks this holiday in Vegas, but we did day trips to Arizona and Utah. There’s so much natural beauty that just isn’t in NYC. It’s definitely a trade-off
you have got to be kidding. You started a company, you are working smarter and harder, you create jobs, you bring more and more joy to to your family, you live in a very exciting place- much theater and many museums. Love, Aunt Pat