So it seems that every tech entrepreneur has a mentor, is looking for a mentor, is a mentor, or all the above. It’s freshman year dating season all over again.

I might be crazy, but I’m not doing any of those things. I have good friends, trusted colleagues, confidants, but there is no sage person in the background offering up advice when the tough choices come rolling in.

Frankly, I wouldn’t know where to start looking for a mentor if I wanted to, and I wouldn’t know who to mentor (or what to mentor on) if asked.

But maybe it’s not really necessary. The business of DOM & TOM is pretty straightforward – you offer hours of services in exchange for money. In many respects, it is the same business as an accounting firm, or a law firm, or any other service-based business. It’s not exactly kungfu…

There’s desire to be mentored and to mentor others in the tech culture.  I don’t know where else to attribute it to other than Silicon Valley, which sets the standard for all other tech cultures in the US. Part of that mystique is the mentor-student relationship that seemed to promulgate heavily in the late 90s and early 2000s.

In any case, I’ll reserve judgement on the topic of mentorship for another day. It’s been 5 years toil on this business, and I haven’t had the support of that sage person in the back room for guidance, but that doesn’t mean he/she isn’t worthwhile.

Trust is not a gift. It is earned in deeds done, and wars won. – Anonymous

Trust between two professionals is a hard-won accomplishment. There isn’t a sin I haven’t committed when it comes to trust. When the company grew, I found myself doing annoying and downright rude habits with my colleagues. I micro-managed, I second-guess people’s motives , I undermine work being done by checking in randomly, then asking questions that I knew couldn’t be answered on the spot.  Sometimes I realized what I was doing, and stopped. But I’m sure I didn’t recognize my bad habits all the times (hence, why they’re bad habits) and that gives me cause for pause.

As my brother Dom says, “perception is reality.” I find that as my stress increases, my trust that “stuff getting down”-ness in the company decreases. It can turn into a negative spiral that leads to hurt feelings and lower morale. The best we can do is fight the insecurities and remember the good character and intentions of those upon who you rely.  Hemingway said it well – “‘The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.”

That said, once we take the first step in trusting, it’s nice to verify. Thanks Ronald…

  

 

 

We doubled in size last year. So 2x the people; 2x the costs; 2x the gross revenue; 2x the complexity of problems.

In order to maintain the growth, we recognize that  professional development is now part of our culture.

One thing we did poorly last year was not structure professional development for people who want to move up the company. People who stayed with us for a few years were starting to ask  “How do I advance here?” or “What’s the next step for me to move up the ever-lengthening corporate ladder ?” We were so busy hiring and *GSD’ing that we neglected that people want a career path. Such an obvious mistake, looking back.

• At the end of last year/early this year we gathered goals from all the employees and are creating career paths for our people.
• We’re creating Hackathons for our teams to collaborate with each other, especially people they normally wouldn’t work with.
• We’re creating a D&T library and forming groups to read through management books, leadership books, and other company-fostering books.

It’s hopefully the bedrock of the next phase in D&T culture – one where we all now collaborate to become a better, more-professional, organization. It’s a step away from the old days, where we’d go out as a team to the local pub after a hard day’s work. Now we’re trying to improve each other materially.

If anyone has ideas on new initiatives we should include @ D&T feel free to contact me via the comments, or in my email tom@domandtom.com

*GSD’ing means “getting stuff done”

I’m a child compared to my friends.

I am 31 years old, never owned a car and never owned a home, and don’t have children. I live in the cheapest apartment I’ve ever lived in my life, with my wife and cat. Logistically-speaking, my life is exactly the same as it was when I was 21 years old.  My wife is in the same boat  – her job is the same type she’s had since her 20s, and her friends are the same ones since she first moved to NYC (with a few exceptions).

My friends, on the other hand, have families, own cars and homes, and are experiencing the headaches and joys of all those things. I get that “owning stuff” does not make you a better person, or that having more kids around doesn’t provide deeper wisdom – people who are jerks still are jerks, just with more kids. That said, I think there’s a fundamental change when you alter your environment.

But frankly, it’s very hard to alter one’s environment in New York City. Rents are high, and get higher every year. Even if your job allowed you to get more money, what exactly does that get you? A slightly bigger apartment maybe, and the ability to eat out a bit more.

Or visit your other friends who seem to be progressing rather quickly into their lives while you’re still relating to college students with their first jobs.

 

There’s plenty to be grateful, but I’ll just hit the top 10

#5 – Married to someone who works out.

I seriously would be an horrible shape were it not for Julie. My wife works out 4-5x a week, and is an inspiration to keep in good health and shape. If it weren’t for her, I’d be more “Bear” than “Otter” (evidently lingo in the metro-sexual communities…)

#4 – Traveling more than ever

It’s a personal goal to see new place every year. This year: Turkey! What a great country!

#3 – Family and friends near and far.

I swear, I’ve seen more family, both in NYC, Chicago and afar, this year than ever before.

#2 – Continuing to write, starting to podcast

Fun things I’ve written this year: ghost stories, blog posts, twitter feeds, listener feedback. It’s a start. My goal is to write/publish a series of short stories. I’ve never done sound recording, and I’m eager to experiment with it. Episodes to come out in 2014!!!

#5 – Health

Rocky year, all in all, but I came through better than ever. At age 31 I bench more than before, lift more than ever, and have a positive POV to dramatically improve my cardio next year. It’s going to be…awesome.

Heard a great quote today.

Bill Withers  “I’m doing the best I can, to improve my lineage and my species. So I got some responsibilities…”

That’s a 75 year old blue legend, saying he still owes the world and himself more, after a lifetime of greatness. If you don’t know Bill Withers, please feel free to search the internet. Guaranteed you’ve heard his music in one form or another.

I hear from people in my industry that the Millennials are the worst generation we’re facing. They’re selfish. They’re rent-seeking. They have no loyalty. They want to promote their brand and don’t give a damn about the big-picture.

Personally, I don’t think there’s any difference between this generation or any other generation. The circumstances have shaped the outlook, and this generation is responding to those circumstances. If you’re living in an environment where we make corporations into “citizens”, there’s a global meltdown right when you join the workforce, internships have been turned into indentured servitude, you can’t help but wonder where the next kick is coming from.

Look, there used to be a social contract between COMPANY and EMPLOYEE. The contract was simple: Employee “hey, I will work at x Company, and be loyal, so long as you treat me fairly.” Company X “sure! We value long-term growth and won’t axe you in a short-term downturn or because we need to increase investors’ value.”

Sounds fair to me.

Today – everyone is mercenary. You can sign whatever contract you want, but the end of the day is that it’s all the power in the owner’s hands.

Jack Welsh one time had high-paid engineers at GE paint the buildings when there was no work to do, just to keep the team together. Imagine that – VPs and senior talent, with nothing to do, so he made them paint. He had vision to see that losing top-talent would be good short-term, but devastating long-term.

No such vision today, eh comrade?

I can’t tell Millennials that they’re wrong to being mercenary, or looking at the short-term. We – the company and its owners – have trained them to not count on anything. But I don’t want to have that in my piece of the world. I want to have my own, private revolution/revelation. I want to revolt against that mindset because I believe, I truly believe, that we all want that original contract, the one that used to be in place back in the day, that we’re all in this together and that we all deserve a promise to that end.

Like Bill Withers, we got a lot of work to do, and will be doing it into our old age.

KNOWING WHEN YOU ARE READY TO MANAGE.

I find this is a deep problem in the start-up community.  But before we talk about management of employees, let’s talk about the operations of a business. It’s my belief that that #1 operational goal of a company is to create stability and reliability in its processes and business model. Bills are paid on-time, payroll run on-time, clients pay on-time, work done on-time, etc. Keep the process running reliably, and your business will prosper.

People, conversely, are your #1 variables. They’re always throwing wrenches into the gears of this steady engine – getting sick, taking time off, being way better than you calculated. Their productivity is always growing and ebbing so that they never quite fit the models created.

So when you’re looking to manage people you’re really saying “I’m attempting to take on the hardest thing to do in the business – harder than the work itself.” Once you understand that, and accept it, you’re in the right mindset to manage.

There’s a lot to go into being a good manager, and managing personality types, but I won’t get into that here. I’m going to describe the core points that I think a manager needs.

1.) Have a plan for your people and yourself

You’re managing a team – it’s your job to know what you want from that team, communicate it, and then constantly challenge the team. Too few managers do this. People hire when they feel overwhelmed with work, and not until it’s too late that they realize that hiring actually CAUSES more work upfront, not less. Training, communicating, creating plans and progress milestones – all work! If you’re going to get the most out of people, have a plan before you hire and execute on that plan. And then always have a back-up plan.

2.) Periodical check-ins.

Odds are, you’ve hired smart people. But they’re not automatons – you need to check in personally and frequently to make sure things are on track. Most experts recommend 1x a week initially. I’m ambivalent on that – I think the situation dictates the needs. If you don’t like checking in with other people’s work, I don’t blame you.

3.) Guts

It’s easy to communicate bad news to yourself. It’s hard to convey that to someone else and hold them accountable. More often than not, green Managers will avoid conflict or correct the work themselves. I had both done to me personally by several managers in my previously life. Here’s a secret – most employees know when they’re messing up. They’re just lost on how to ask for help. Well, at least that’s how it was for me (and probably for you, right?)

4.) It’s not personal

When you go from employee to manager, you have to change your relationship with your team. It is difficult and I have a hard time doing it myself. I don’t like the idea of hierarchy – there’s a lot of efficiencies found in a flat organization – but every business has a boss, and every team has a manager. If you’re not willing to alter your work relationships (which can be deep and wonderful and the best ones in your life) in order to manage, please do not manage. You will ultimately hurt everyone around you.

If you feel like you can plan, communicate, and have the emotional fortitude on meting out bad news (and praise) along with keeping a professional barrier, you’re in the right mindset to manage. It’s a difficult transition and one that does not appeal to most people. Most people don’t want the hassle, and there’s unfortunately a lot of people who choose to manage because that’s the only way to get a raise/bonus or move up the corporate ladder. Yikes. For the few who want to provide leadership and guidance for a living, this is my bare-bones assessment of what is required.

Good Luck!

 

I got married April 27, 2013, to my beloved wife Julianna.

Whew – what an experience. It’s subtle, being married. I feel a sense of calmness, patience, and internal peace. Sanguine. I feel sanguine.

Even though nothing in the business has really changed, my outlook definitely changed. I can tell I’m sleeping better, eating better, dealing with the stress better. In general, life is more enjoyable.

And it’s not just because I don’t have the stress of planning a wedding (which, on top of being expensive, is practically a second job, folks…) There’s something more in my life,  and that in turn makes me “more”, and that makes everything else relatively smaller/manageable. DOM & TOM is ceasing to be this monolithic entity that dwells over all parts of my life. Wow ,that sounds negative, but small-business owners you know what I’m talking about – the first few years working in your business is all-consuming. The cycle of eat, work, sleep, repeat is a tough one to break. Sometimes you stare into the abyss and wonder if it’s staring back.  Thankfully, a good life-milestone with proper pomp and rituals, came along and I was able get perspective.

So to all those entrepreneurs and small business owners who are engaged – get excited! This is a blast.

 

I’ve been on vacation for two weeks for the first time starting the company with Dominic, back in 2010.

Here’s what I’ve learned.

1.)  Being on vacation is BUSY

Look, my life was this  “get up, work 12-15 hours, and go to bed. Repeat.” The list of “Things I’m going to do when I get a free week….” grew by reams. In the last week alone I went to two art openings , a poetry-reading, visited four friends in the city (and yes, some I haven’t seen in years, even though they’re only 5 miles away), caught up with almost all my wedding duties, did-the-laundry (whew) and swung over a few evenings to John Brown Smokehouse, my favorite BBQ place. I was worried that a vacation would mean me sitting around all day, doing nothing. Just the opposite!

2.) Being on vacation is normal.

While I’m still busy, I’m moving MUCH more slowly. And I think moving slow is what it’s like to be normal. It’s about a quarter-speed to what I’m used to.  Any business owner (or highly-active manager) knows what I’m talking about. At work, the morning will vanish in 2 cups of coffee.  On vacation, an hour goes by in a slow, thundering, drum. It was/is jarring .  But some perks –  I actually remember things because there’s time to reflect and remember things. I can hold a conversation, on a set topic and just be present for that time/space. My mind isn’t wandering. I’m able to focus and not multi-task.

In fact, I learned that multi-tasking is the false prophet of efficiency – we’re just accomplishing less on more activities than ever. It’s a valuable lesson I’m taking back with me to the office.

3.) I’m learning something new.

I realized I hadn’t *learned* anything of substance for over three years. What I mean, yes, “Life is a great teacher…” etc whatever – I learned a lot starting/growing a business for 3 years. But I’m talking about reading a new book, going to see new art, researching Byzantine theologians from the 8th century – you know, something non-work. In general, since I graduated from Baruch College I haven’t taken a real academic course or learned much of classic studies. Going on vacation actually let me have time to pursue hobbies! I’m actually reading new non-work books,  and doing non-work things. It’s amazing how much of one’s relationships with friends and family centered around work.

Anyone else out there taken a vacation for the first time, in a LONG time? Love to hear your insights!